My weird Easter weekend

Robyn

Being the only soul in Jo’burg over the Easter weekend meant I was on cat duty. That meant trekking to Edenvale to feed my Dad’s cat; using my boyfriend’s DVD player as an excuse to hang out with his cat (since my [very] humble abode and my quest to live the [very] simple life means I don’t have one) and then of course, tending to my own beasts. My one-eyed Red Point Siamese has taken a shining to presenting me with mutant-sized Parktown prawns recently. So a portion of my weekend was spent trying to levitate in fear, and then coming to my senses and trapping the bastard in an empty ice-cream tin and flinging it as far down the driveway as possible. The prawn that is. Not the cat.

That wasn’t the only thing to get me yelling. My neighbour’s house alarm has been going off for three days, but not loud and annoying enough for me to check in at the Formula One hotel and present them the bill on their return from their wonderful holiday – just audible enough to wonder, “Hmmm, what’s that?” and then forget about it. “Oh yay, it’s off!” I shriek, for the ninth time, and stop dead in my tracks to make sure – only for the persistent blinking to make itself known to my ears again. Great. It’s enough to drive you mad.

In fact, I think I have gone mad, because while the birds were singing their first songs of the morning on Easter Monday, I was dreaming I was married to Charlie Sheen. It doesn’t get any weirder than that.

The Roommate – fright night out

Last week some CLEO gals and I went along to the reader event to see a special screening of The Roommate. One of the many perks of my job is that I get to go out and socialise, for free. Anyway, popcorn and Fanta orange (and goody bag, another perk) at the ready, I prepped myself for 90-or-so minutes of suspense.

The story goes like this: Sara (Leighton Meester) goes to college in California, and shacks up with roommate Rebecca (Minka Kelly). Their fast-tracked friendship takes a turn for the worse when Rebecca becomes obsessed with Sara, going to any lengths (including bellyring-ripping, and sexual accusations) to keep her all to herself. Add in hunky Stephen (Cam Gigandet) and the visuals get better.

Since I’m not the best scary-movie-watcher, I spent most of the time huddled up to features writer Roxanne, covering my eyes, and whispering furiously to her what I thought would happen next. And because it was excessively predictable, I was always right.

Nonetheless, it was a good night out, and I’d recommend the movie if you feel like watching something that doesn’t require too much analysing and is a bit of a fright.

Streets of Gold doesn’t glisten like it should.

Robyn Lawrenson

Streets of Gold, the latest theatre production to hit the Lyric Theatre at Gold Reef City, has been described as a goldmine of South African talent – from the adaptions of popular band Cassette making up the musical score and AngloGold Ashanti’s stunning gold jewellery showcased by the actors. But to be honest, I was left feeling underwhelmed.

Nonetheless, the story goes like this: Johannesburg has the last of the world’s precious gold, hidden in a vault, deep underground. Prefect Flora von Higgins (Fiona Ramsay), leader of the Global Union of Nations (GUN), holds the gold-bracelet key to the vault. But Cassandra (Samantha Peo, who also played Roxie Hart in Chicago) a rebel on the run from GUN, steals the key to the vault. But Flora has already activated the self-destruction button, and doom awaits. There are a bunch of other characters, including Jabulani Bond (Tumisho Masha), sent to find Cassandra and recover the key, crooked Minister of Defence, Mark Richardson, and Viddy (Shaun V) the rebel leader – whose singing left me saying “yikes” more than once.

You would think a political story about greed, distrust and corruption would capture the heart of the audience, but sadly, it doesn’t. There were so many characters that I was left confused half the time and had to keep nudging my date to remind me who was who; I felt ambushed by the musical performances; and the dark, dreary setting got very boring after a while. The jewellery was impressive, but if I didn’t know beforehand that AngloGold Ashanti was purposefully using this opportunity to market itself, I might have left thinking it was nothing but costume jewellery …

The most memorable thing about the production was the backdrop. An impressive movie screen took the audience through the scenes of the play, so you felt as if you were moving into the gold mine with the actors. But I’m afraid that’s where the awe ended.